The Impending Bar Exam

The goddamned bar exam is the only thing I can think about, so it's the perennial subject of this blog and everything else out of my mouth/mind, and will be until it's over.
The thing is the DAY AFTER TOMORROW, and the panic abated for the last week or so, but really? This is terrifying. Because if I don't pass, I have to wait another 6 months and pay another $600, and in the meantime I won't get licensed and it will be even harder to find work. Which, as it turns out, isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world right now as it is. Can you read the edge in my voice? Because it's there, with a little shakiness. And still, I'm too burned out to study any more. Which only freaks me out more. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you.
I am, however, looking forward to staying at the Hotel Teatro during the exam. And eating at alto the night between exam days. I've never been to either of the places before, but they look amazing on the websites, and are really close to the Convention Center where the bar exam is to be held. I figured I could pamper myself (and Rex), given that this is probably the most stressful thing I'll ever do. At least until I have (if I have) kids.
I'm off to see if I can't force a few more minutes of mnemonic device learning into my head. PATERNITY, KIDBARF, CAMPingMAP, ALIE, SID to the REC, HEDDEC, HOACS, RVCABLEFAILS, this sucks ass. And I only know what a few of those even stand for.

The J.D. is official

All my grades are (finally) in from last semester. I managed to squeak by in all my classes, which means the J.D. is mine to keep. Huzzah! I'm officially an unlicensed attorney!

The bar isn't looking quite so rosy, but I'm intending to keep cramming for the next four weeks (it's 30 days exactly to the exam), so wish me luck.

So....close....

I rented my graduation regalia this morning. Doctoral graduates (that's me! Doesn't it sound fancy?) get to wear a tam, and the law color is purple. As for the color, at least it's not pink--music has to wear pink. But the tam? It's a square, floppy, velvet hat. Seriously? I think the goal of graduation is to utterly humiliate us in front of our families. Me? I'm going to look sexy in that floppy, shiny, square hat. Yes indeed.

Still counting down

I now have 24 hours and 15 minutes left until I am FINISHED with law school. That is, unless I can finish my exam sooner. Closed book, 3 hour water law exam...perhaps 2 hours (easy 2 hours), better at 1 1/2 or less. Then 'tis time for champagne and happiness.

Counting down

I have two days plus roughly two hours of law school left. The end won't come soon enough, but when it does, there will be celebrations and family time and NO MORE EXAMS! Until that unholy of unholy exams, the Bar Exam, but let's not worry about that now, okay?

Counting down to the end of school makes me think I should count down until the end of winter. Because yesterday? It was nineteen degrees below zero. And I don't even live in the mountains anymore, for chrissake. Five more days until the days start getting longer again (FINALLY), and 13 1/2 weeks until the official "first day of spring" (though we in cold climates all know that's a load of crap).

Thirty eight and a half weeks until I get married. And I still don't have a caterer. C'est la vie.

The never ending job search

"The slowdown also has made it much harder for lawyers looking for work to find positions, said Robin S. Miller, a principal at Corrao, Miller, Rush & Wiesenthal Legal Search Consultants in New York." (NYT)

I'm graduating from law school next month. I haven't been able to find even part-time work, despite having been looking since last April (well before the downturn). Everyone I talk to says, "oh, it'll be fine. You'll find work." Well, I'm here to say that there is a good chance I won't, at least not for a while. So stop annoying me by painting a rosy picture with your eyes closed. Things suck for lawyers right now, and I'm about to be at the bottom of the totem pole. Last year's grads are still looking for work, and they are licensed.

"You know things are bad when even lawyers are getting laid off." The same article, refuting the constantly posed comment that, "people always need lawyers." Well, they don't need 'em if they can't afford to hire 'em.

I just hope the economy turns around. Soon, and dramatically. Otherwise, I'll be looking for a box on Colfax avenue to call home.

On why I hate Career Development...

I am going to a career fair at the law school tonight. There are numerous employers collecting applications. So I have been diligently drafting cover letters, in the hopes that I might find a job tonight. Since there are two separate lists of employers attendees, one entitled "employers collecting applications," the other titled "employers participating," I had assumed that there would be at least the possibility of job openings.

I was wrong.

I just ran into my illustrious career counselor, one of those in charge of the event. I said to him, "E---, I hope there are going to be some jobs for real lawyers/graduates tonight!" His response? "Oh, don't go looking for jobs, just collect information."

SO WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE COVER LETTERS??? Why are applications being accepted if there are no jobs? AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY GET A JOB??? Information doesn't exactly get the job done. It's called a career fair for a reason.

Wolf Law, 207

Room 207 in the Wolf Law Building is perpetually FREEZING. And there's a vent over my head that blows frigid air on me the whole time I sit here. Green building? I think not. It's not warm outside, folks, we don't need the A/C on full blast. Now I shall stop typing because I have 10 finger popsicles.

The Bar

The good news today is: two of my friends passed the Colorado Bar. And they are not two of the people who would be a shoe-in. One didn't take the main bar review course (and I'm not going to), and one was, well, sort of an underacheiver (like me!). Today is a reassuring day. If they can pass, I can pass too.

UPDATE: It turns out, my third friend did not pass the bar. And he is not an underachiever, and he did take the bar review course. This is not encouraging. Two of three is like University of Denver odds, and I go to CU. Which is supposed to have a very high bar passage rate. C'mon class of 2008, you're making me n-e-r-v-o-u-s.

Jeopardy?

I just played water law jeopardy. And had cookies. School is better when you regress to second grade.

It makes the system go.
What is return flow?

Now you may have a cookie. There are enough for two per person. Don't be greedy.

Gadget irony

I was reading this article about iPhones and other tech gadgets in classes, distracting students. While I am sitting in class. Surfing the internet on my laptop with wireless internet. Then, the irony of it struck me but also the inevitability.

Professors, it's inevitable. We cannot pay attention for more than 5 minutes, and if you're just gonna ramble on up there (for three and a half hours, in the case of this class), yes, we are going to take advantage of all that Steve Jobs and his cronies have given us.

Wasting my time....

Just had a job interview. They said, "your resume is very appealing," and sounded ready to offer me a job on the spot. For a job that I actually want. Then, I ask about salary. The job is unpaid. Thanks for your time, judges. On to the next thing. Maybe someone will decide one day that my law degree makes me deserving of a paycheck (however paltry, I'll take just about anything at this point).

Status update?

Since I'm still out of a job (and in my last week at my unpaid position with EPA), I figured I better find SOMETHING to do with my time, so I decided to volunteer. I already do tours for the law school, but this week I agreed to serve as a bailiff for a capital murder trial. In Centennial. Almost 50 miles away. So I will be commuting almost 100 miles round trip to escort jurors to and from the courtroom. At least I'm a good citizen?

Some fun math

An idea of my monthly expenses:
Rent: $1100 (for both me and Rex)
Car Insurance: $80
Energy Bill: $75
Gas: ...
Food: ...

My monthly income (combined, with Rex's): $0

Someone please tell me: how does this work?

Yes, I have student loans. No, they do not cover the cost of living. Plus it's summer, where they are particularly paltry (read: gone by July 1).

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I need a job! The thing is, employers expect law students to work for free, which presents a problem that would have been nice to know about before going to law school: you have to be wealthy to attend, otherwise you will be poorer than before you began. I thought I would go to law school to make more money than my pitiful post-college job paid, but it turns out that I am making less. A lot less. So much for that bright idea.

State of the what?

I go to school in a brand new, state-of-the-art law school building(CU's Wolf Law Building, it's supposed to be super cutting edge and all). This sign just appeared in the library ladies room:

"Sensitive Plumbing... [you know how it goes]"

We don't even have low-flow toilets. They are NEW, REGULAR, COMMERCIAL fixtures. Methinks someone cut corners on construction (the fact that roof tiles were falling off all last year is another key indicator. They are redoing the entire roof, just a year and a half into this puppy. Aren't buildings supposed to last longer than that?).

My Ethics Class is Bulls***, Conclusion

Remember the horrid ethics class? If not, you can look here and here and here. I just discovered (thanks to the wonder of public information) that the awful professor makes $174K per year. He's one of the highest paid professors at the law school. How? Why? Just like in corporate America, compensation in the higher education system does not reflect actual ability to perform one's job. Now I feel more ripped off than ever that I had to take that class from PW.

The NYT does NOT like Augusten today

I finally got around to perusing the New York Times today, because I am utterly sick of studying. One of their writers reviewed Augusten Burroughs' new book, a memoir about his father. Man oh man, did she hate this book. You might take a stop by the NY Times to read it, because she slams the hell out of him and it's actually kind of interesting to read. I, for one, will still be buying his book in hardcover. I actually liked Possible Side Effects and Magical Thinking, even though the reviewer says they were about nothing. That's the problem with book reviews--what you like is just that, a subjective preference. Though I have found spectacular reading material by following the New York Times' advice--maybe I'll hate A Wolf at the Table. Maybe I love anything that's not a casebook. Maybe you don't care. Now I'm just rambling to avoid studying the Clean Air Act anymore, because I am tired of reading about what the Administrator shall do. Even though he never does, because he's a government employee. Just like I might be one day.

Remember when?

Remember when I used to have time to read the news and then tell you what you should be reading from NYTimes.com? Remember? I don't. Now it's all just library, library, library. On the upside, I've finished three finals. Only two more. Plus a 30 page paper. Oh how fun it is to be me.

Also on the upside of things, I have an interview with EPA on Monday. The job doesn't pay, but I hear that they are great to work for. Imagine me, a government worker (or slave--isn't that what you are if you don't get paid?). It's pretty much the last thing I would have thought of, but I also never thought I'd be a lawyer. Back to the downside, I'll have a 45 minute commute each way, and if you know me, you know that if I can't walk there I'm probably not going. Unless it's shopping or eating, but a job is neither.

Wouldn't you like to be me?

Another update on what I'm doing right now. You voyeur. I'm sitting at school (not in the library, that closes at 10), with my sunglasses on because my eyes hurt from the florescent lights and staring at my computer, drinking vodka and 7Up out of my coffee cup. I have been at school for 11 1/2 hours, and was here for 12 hours yesterday. This is what it's like to be in law school, I tell you. I don't even know what "outside" looks like anymore. I don't even leave to eat--Rex goes out for food and brings it back to me, and he feeds the cat, and does all those things I would do if I wasn't a law student. Or at least, if I wasn't a total nutjob.

Marathon studying

I have been at the library for over 5 hours, and have moved once to go to the bathroom. My eyes feel like they are going to start bleeding. There's no end in sight. This is what law school finals do to a person--I was not known to ever even go to the library in college, let alone stay there.

Turns out, the library closes at 10, and I wrote the above at 9:09. Since I was nowhere near finishing my mountain of work, I was a little worried. Luckily, once you're in the building, you can stay here ALL NIGHT! Thanks, mr. friendly law school security guard!

12:31 a.m.: finally time to go home. More than 8 hours of straight studying. Well, almost. Stamina was radically improved by Provigil and a jumbo bottle of wine.