A Hispanic Catholic Wedding in Houston

This past weekend I went to a wedding in Houston. But it was not just any old wedding. It was a Catholic wedding with an infusion of Hispanic tradition. It goes something like this: First, the bride's father hates her mother so they have to modify the opening bits. Then, on the altar the bride and groom have to kneel the entire ceremony. Which is very dignified. The priest makes a long speech about how you have to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Jesus must be a central part of your marriage (PN says, "That sounds like a threesome to me"). If you don't pray enough, every night before bed, before every meal, and most definitely in public (don't be embarrassed), then Satan will get you. This is all very natural, as it is a Catholic wedding. Then it gets interesting. Someone "close to the bride" comes up with a lasso. The lasso is rope with two loops tied in it (and some lace for effect). Then, these "special people" put the rope around the bride's and groom's necks, "binding them together." Sound kinky to you? It did to me. No joke, they tied them up, while kneeling, right there on the altar. Then they untie them, give them a giant bible on doilies, and it's all over. Thank God for it being over.